We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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