Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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