PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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