I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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