Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize