I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize