when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
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She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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