Just fell off a train. Bad.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize