your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize