OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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