There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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