this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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