I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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