Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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