I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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