Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize