Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize