i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
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Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
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Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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