I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize