i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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