Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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