If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
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I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
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Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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