Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is exhausting
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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