Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
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