I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize