My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize