everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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