why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
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We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
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Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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