toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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