Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There's always time for handjobs
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
do nipples grow back?
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