ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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