My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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