Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
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I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
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I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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