but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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