i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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