My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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