I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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