My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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