When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The struggles of a small town man whore
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize