she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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