she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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