ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
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I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
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I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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