Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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