no, he came in my armpit
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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