K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
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we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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