Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize