I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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