Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize