why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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