so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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